ρεβεκκα, it may happen, as it certainly does, that church services become a diplomatic function with meticulous machinations and adjustments in words and gestures, in the most minute millimeter and degrees, to please people. There is some of that in every human interaction and situation; the more infinitesimal the percentage thereof, the more the interaction or situation adheres to the original intent of the event. Since such people-pleasing take vast amount of energy and attention span, some church services may become more about pleasing people than pleasing God. And that is no God-near-ness, and very far away from it.

Therefore I recommend the reading of "Puritan Sermons", and the sermons of these people: Charles Spurgeon, David Brainerd, George Whitfield, Henry Beecher, John&Charles Wesley, Jonathan Edwards, A.W. Tozer, and any of their contemporaries of renowned piousness. The especially succulent ones are the ones quoting the Bible with Roman numerals for chapter and Arabic numeral for verses, as such: Matthew xiii. 47. You shall/would find the reading thereof to be more invigorating and life-breathing than any church services (at least, in the 21st-century United States), and more lively than any entertainment.

I dare say (and it's not "I venture to say", which is a matter of tentative dabble in probability, but "I dare say", which is a matter of courage) that many prominent Christians are fallen, as with many who are ministers or pastors or those of that profession. Some of them falls the further away from Christ the more advanced they are in their careers, not increasing in the knowledge of God, but accumulating experience in human (and earthly: Iacob iii 15) wisdom and treachery of advancing one's skill in rhetorics and liturgy about God while all the more using it as a cloak for evil deeds, oppression and dishonesty.

Therefore, those who think they are standing firm should be vigilant, lest they fall. (1 Cor x 12) Be vigilant and alert about your spiritual life, in the midst of such an evil generation, lest you also become like the children of Eli, who in the midst of doing holy deeds (and very likely, speeches) towards God, were contrary to God. That thing which, or that person whom, anyone should call "Lord" or refer to as "God" or "Jesus", even in half-spoken hint, that is their god and what they worship in life. Beware of those who do not worship (and therefore love) Lord Jesus Christ (and God), by this you know who/what their god is. Even doing it once is enough. For any real Christian or son/daughter of God would not even think of such an abomination. It takes very deep and dramatic falling away in the spiritual life to even get near the point where such thing can be uttered. It is the spirit of the anti-Christ, and should you esteem your spiritual life, you'd do well to not partake of it or do as what you see others do. Whom you marry is highly irrelevant compared to the death or life or liveliness of spiritual life, and that is also what I think now pertaining to myself. If you were to do as others do, it'd be as if you strike yourself upon the head with a hammer or hard object, after once or a few times you will not be sensible to the Holy Spirit anymore and won't even know between mortal danger and mere existence. Not a perfect example but it gets the point across.

There is no one better to cultivate your spiritual life than Jesus Christ. Anything said/written in Christian language in the 21st century should be taken very carefully, since many keep their spots and blemishes, many are like grounds of thorns and thistles, many endure only for a while and fall away in actually following Jesus, and some follow after Satan. There is no amount of spiritual knowledge I can pepper in here that would last any more than a few moments, without you cultivating life with Jesus on your own. No one else can do it for you. And since I am myself rather agonizing after drops of God-knowledge from heaven, it's not like I have that much advanced knowledge to spare. The proven saints, whom I mentioned above, are loyal vines in the garden of the Lord and left the imprints of their faith upon papers. These can be relied upon, much more so than live people, however godly works they are reputed to have done. The era is evil and people easily become fickle and they love the approval of the era above Lord Jesus. Following an MP3 series of any bodily-alive pastor may be of a little help, depending on the person, but it is all like thin spread-out soup with some bits of vegetables floating in it. Depending on the scoop (that is, the day), you may get thin soup on most days, and thin soup with some morsels in it on other days. It may have the taste (that is, the familiar vocabulary), but not much or no fortification of the Christian spiritual life. If anything, you may find dead creeping things in it. That's if you are vigilant. If you are not vigilant, you'll intake well-camouflaged poison without knowing it. Also, there are those who presume to be counselors, but they are even less wise and know even less about life than any random person who merely seeks after the Lord. With skillfulness of words they seek to make people lean on their yoke, for that purpose even skewing the walk of the upright, ensuring a steady income.

The Puritan sermons and the sermons of the proven (and unchanging) saints may be found in any library of a school that was built as a trainer of Christian disciples. That means any school that is built more than 100 years ago. Such sermons can certainly be found in any specifically theological libraries, such as seminaries of any Christian denomination. There should be a lot of those around. It's likely that in all those places they aren't often read. You shall find the liveliness of the content most delightful. May you stand in the faith of Jesus and cultivate your spiritual life and not fall away. I have written more than enough, and I must stop, lest with the faintest bit of humidity in the ink I distract/detract you from the wide expanse of the clear lake of the proven saints, and the living Jesus, of whom there is no end.